10 Things to do to Un-lonely Yourself During the Holidays

The holiday season can be a stressful time for some. Although it is supposed to be “merry and bright”, it can remind people of a loss, a break-up, and being away from family.

Rain Anderson, PaperClip Writer

  1. Accept your feelings

Instead of avoiding or denying your feelings, accept them as they are. Consider exploring the possible reasons that you feel lonely. Take control of those feelings and accept them as neither good nor bad, but just as they are. Be kind to yourself and believe that you can change the loneliness you feel.

      2. Take care of yourself

Nutrition, sleep, and exercise are the basic foundations of self care. If you’re not looking after those properly, most negative emotions you’re dealing with will be increased. Try not to sleep too much or too little, work in some movement in your day (it doesn’t even have to be *exercise* if you’re not feeling up for it), and don’t skip meals or feed your emotions with garbage. Once you take care of that, everything else will come a tiny bit more easily.

       3. Avoid social media (do your best).

Looking at an overflowing feed of holiday party pictures and family portraits will probably make you even more lonely. By all means, if you want to do a full social media cleanse, go for it. It can be refreshing and necessary to get a break from that stuff. But you could also, for example, just go easy on Facebook and Instagram, where you’re most likely to see festive pictures that feel like picking a scab when you look at them — but stay on Tumblr and Twitter where you can find harmony in ridiculous memes and other people having miserable holidays, too.

       4. Don’t couple up, uncuff yourself!

   It’s natural to want to connect with someone, anyone, just so you don’t have to brave this sentimental season alone. So, you might be tempted to backslide into old relationships, romantic or otherwise, or get more serious with someone you otherwise wouldn’t.

       5. Resist the urge to isolate.

For a lot of people, depending on why you’re feeling lonely, loneliness feeds on itself and it’s easy to get stuck in a hard cycle — and in this case, pushing yourself a little can really help you feel better, even if taking the initial step is hard. This is especially true for people whose loneliness comes from a place of depression or anxiety.

        6. Or take a break.

Sometimes you just need a break and hiding away from the world really can help. Maybe due to circumstances in your life — like, maybe you just went through a breakup or lost a loved one — the idea of going out and seeing people having a merry freakin’ holiday sounds like nothing short of torture. In that case, be kind to yourself and give yourself permission to cocoon up away from the world and self-soothe for a couple of days.

But again, if you’re finding that doing that for days at a time leaves you feeling more lonely and miserable, then it’s probably a sign you should push yourself a little more and consider getting out there. Which is where the whole “don’t isolate” advice comes back into play.

       7. Volunteer!

Helping others in your community can help you connect with something bigger than yourself. It can be a reminder that there is much to be thankful for in life. It can also feel rewarding on a personal level and make you feel better. Finding a cause that makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside, could brighten your day.

        8. Having realistic expectations

Telling yourself that it’s okay not to have the “typical” holiday season doesn’t magically erase how you’re feeling or your desire to have that experience. But resolving not to bother putting on a brave face, to yourself or to others, can be freeing and lessen the weight of the season just a little.

        9. Analyze your social group

Feeling lonely in a crowd is definitely nothing new. You may still still feel lonely when you’re with others. You may just be hanging out with the wrong people. They could definitely be putting you down or not appreciating you, and you definitely don’t deserve that.

10. Redefine what the holidays mean to you

So, holiday commercials and movies and songs have driven the point home: the holidays are supposed to be about being around loved ones, warmth, gifts, and festivity. But, that doesn’t have to be true at all. Maybe this time is about giving back. Maybe it’s about self-betterment or self-exploration. Maybe it’s about saving money or getting your life in order or organizing your home. Maybe it’s even about catching up on all the TV you’ve fallen behind on or reading as many books for pleasure as possible.